What is the quality time love language?

3 mins
02 Feb 2023
Rihanna and ASAP Rocky together

Put away your phone - it's time to give your partner your undivided attention...

image Victor Boyko / Getty

words Lucy O'Brien

Quality time, it seems like the basic building block of any romantic relationship, right? Well, yeah; the longer you're with someone, the more time you'll likely spend with them. But when it comes the quality time love language, this translates to focussed time and receiving someone else's undivided attention. This means no phones, guys!

Before we get stuck into what quality time really means as a love language, let's double back a little. You probably need to know a bit more about love languages generally. So, for starters, there are five love languages: words of affirmation, quality time (hey!), receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. The concept was created by Gary Chapman in his book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, which is all about using love languages in order to communicate better in a relationship and express romantic needs and love.

Now you know all that, we've reached out to relationships whiz Louella Alderson, Co-Founder of So Syncd, a dating app that matches compatible personality types, on what it means to have quality time as your love language.

What is the quality time love language?

Late night chats, whole-day dates, film nights… quality time is simply about making the time to do what you both enjoy together a priority. It’s also about taking an interest in the things you like to do solo. Alderson explains: “Quality time is spending undivided, focused attention on someone. It’s about communicating and connecting with them on a deeper level. Examples could include going for walks together, talking about your day, watching a movie together, or simply being in each other's presence without distractions from phone calls or social media.”

Quality time is my love language…

If quality time is your love language, you can gently request that your partner prioritise a few things in order to help you feel satisfied when you hang out and in the relationship more generally. “Let your partner know that you value the time you spend as a couple and suggest some activities that you can do together," recommends Alderson. "You could also ask them to turn off their phones, not check their work emails, and really focus on each other.”

Quality time is my partner’s love language…

Want to be there for your partner who loves quality time? The answer is simple: Put in the time to give them some undivided attention, and be sure to incorporate some of the things you know they like to do. Alderson adds, “I’d suggest that you could plan a date night for them or even a weekend away. Make sure you set aside time each week to spend together without any distractions.”

Why are love languages important?

For Alderson, openly communicating your love language to someone you want to build a healthy relationship with is time well-spent, and is vital when communicating your emotional needs. If you’re struggling to pin down what you do and don’t like in relationships, investigating your love language may be a good place to start.

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