It’s okay if you’re having a shit time dating right now. Dating can be draining. Ghosting; recurring first date nerves; financial (and physical) hangovers; fussing over appropriately witty responses to Hinge prompts; hours spent navigating the app algorithms – it’s inevitable you'll feel emotional burnout from the seemingly endless cycle of it all.

If these experiences resonate with you, rest assured you’re not the only one. A 2022 study conducted by Hinge found that 61% of its users felt overwhelmed by modern dating, while a US study in the same year found that 80% of daters felt “some degree of emotional fatigue or burnout from online dating.” Where have we gone wrong?

Our general disenchantment with today’s dating game seems to come down to a growing pessimism for the chances of the “success” of a date. A 2023 cross-analytical study found that 45% of dating app users felt frustrated by the experience, with a 35% reporting that they felt pessimistic about getting dates from the apps. And it’s not unreasonable to feel this way. “Using dating apps has the added challenge of having to "market" yourself, which is a relatively new concept and it doesn't come naturally to everyone,” says Jessica Alderson, relationship expert at So Synced. “This in itself can be draining, particularly if you're naturally private or uncomfortable with self-promotion.”

Dating takes physical and emotional effort. From exhausting your social battery meeting new people to stressing over how to capture your identity in a mere six photos and three conversation prompts, it can be frustrating when these endeavours are met with unsatisfactory exchanges, little to no action, or sometimes not even a follow up text.

Understandably, a history of bad dates can manifest into a glass-half-empty attitude towards dating; expecting every new date to be a doomed repetition of the unsatisfactory ones that came before. But what if this mindset is the very thing holding you back – diminishing your chances of finding a meaningful connection, or simply just enjoying a good time, before you even swipe right?

According to Alderson, dating burnout can take various forms, such as "feeling fatigued, upset, discouraged, cynical, and even completely hopeless about finding the right partner,” she explains. “Ultimately, they get to a point where they feel that the time, money, and effort required aren't worth the reward. Of course, it's usually a temporary state of mind, and most people eventually recover from it.”

It’s time to get back in tune with what dating is meant to be: fun. Dates are a great way to learn more about yourself, as well as what you do and don’t want. Had a bad date? Hey, at least you put yourself out there, and learnt from the experience. You owe it to yourself to take the pressure off, and open up your mind to what is meant to be an enjoyable process.

But you also need to recognise the signs that dating is taking a toll on you emotionally, and set healthy boundaries for yourself in order to recouperate. “If you're experiencing dating burnout, you should listen to your body and emotions,” insists Alderson. “Focus on yourself and look for joy in other areas of your life. A large part of dating success comes down to your mindset, so it's important to take some time off from dating in order to reset your outlook.” But how are young singles doing this?

Woo caught up with some young singletons who have managed to overcome this emotional burnout and reignite their love for dating. Here's what they said...