Secret Sex Diary: the backpacking, long-term couple

A week in the sex life of... a 24-year-old exploring South East Asia with her long term partner

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A week in the sex life of... a 24-year-old exploring South East Asia with her long term partner

28 Feb 2023
5 mins read time
5 mins read time

One-night stands may be on the decline, but a new generation is giving us insight into the who, what, where and why of hooking up.

Vital statistics:

Age: 24 Gender: female Relationship style: long-term monogamous relationship Orientation: heterosexual (but bicurious)

After travelling around the Philippines for the past six weeks, my boyfriend and I have just arrived in Vietnam, the second stop on our three-month journey around South East Asia. Being in a four-year relationship, daily sex is a distant memory – and has been for a while – but we’ve been feeling the heat since we started travelling together.

The problem is, we’re rarely alone. Taking three-day trips, sleeping on night buses and staying in 20-man homestays means privacy is a luxury, and we definitely took it for granted before embarking on our trip. But that just means that when we are able to have sex, it’s even better. Good things come to those who wait, right?

Having to rely on somebody else’s sex drive to match up with mine means we don’t always get to have sex when we want to, plus constantly being around each other means we aren’t always as interested as we would be if we’d just spent the last week apart. But that’s just part and parcel of being in a relationship. On the days we don’t want to tear each other's clothes off, we’re happy to snuggle in bed and take in the once-in-a-lifetime experiences we’re having together, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

This week in numbers:

Masturbation: 0

Intercourse frequency: 2


After a short-ish journey from the idyllic Vietnamese countryside to the city, we are in good spirits. We haven't been able to have much sex because we've been staying in a hostel dorm which, although it did have curtains on the bed, definitely wasn’t private enough. We felt more intimate with the rest of our roommates than each other. Another couple staying in the same room had food poisoning which isn't really an aphrodisiac. However, when we got to this location a few days ago we had some sneaky shower sex because we were bursting.


Tonight, we’ve booked ourselves a private room in a hotel for a treat. To make things even better, the hotel has that seductive red lighting that you can find in the streets of Amsterdam’s Red Light District or in a strip club. It's inevitable that I take this as an opportunity to make the most of it. My Flo app says it's my prime time to have sex too (safely, we don't want any surprises when we return home in a few months), and the few cheap beers I've consumed this evening gets my confidence flowing and we have sex.

"It's rare that my boyfriend and I have sex more than twice a week"


I wake up feeling really sluggish and unmotivated. I don't know if it is a mild hangover or the travel fatigue catching up on me, but it's ruining my mood, though I'm trying not to let it. It's rare that my boyfriend and I have sex more than twice a week, nevermind within the space of two days, so I know today it's completely off the table. I think both of us are aware of this.


We've started our first day of a three-day tour around the North Vietnamese mountains. It's unlikely we will have sex as we will be with a group for the most part. But, you never know – if we can sneak into a shower again it may be possible!


I don’t know whether it’s the ovulation or the fact I'm sitting on a motorbike all day, but the vibrations from the motorbike have been sending me into a bit of a spin. I am craving sex, but there is absolutely nowhere to do it. We are staying in a homestay with around 20 other people and our beds are within about a foot of each other. What are we going to do? Initiate an orgy? I don't think so.

" I am craving sex, but there is absolutely nowhere to do it"


Today was the last day of the tour which means we have a six hour coach journey this evening to a different location. We have both admitted we are gagging for it a bit, but we haven't showered for three days now. We're not disgusting, I promise – we just haven't had the opportunity to shower. The closest thing to a wash I've had is a full body scrub with a wet wipe.

However, we arrive at our hostel, where we have our own private capsule which resembles something you'd find in space, and we cannot resist. We don't even give ourselves time to shower. Although we know our bits are somewhat clean, we decide to skip the oral and just go for it. We both orgasm, which is great considering I'm on antidepressants, which can often stop me from finishing.


The weather is rubbish so we're taking the opportunity to get a proper wash and chill in our capsule. The vibes are great and we’re feeling good, but sex just isn't on our minds today. We're slightly burnt out from another busy week of exploring and we've also spent pretty much every minute with each other for over a month now, so the desire to be even closer isn't particularly strong. We are both quite happy to just have a cuddle instead.